We Hate Celebrity

We really do. Why does no one respect our privacy? If only all those intrusive paparazzi would leave us and our out-of-wedlock offspring alone. We pine for the sequestered life, unmolested by curious fans. Nevermind that we sell photos of our newborns for big money (all donated to charity, of course), or that our 6-month-old makes a cameo appearance in our film (one is never too young to start in Hollywood!). Nevermind that Mom exposes her most intimate and private moment with her child on magazine covers for the world to gawk at, and reveals even more inside its covers, with our blessing.

If the world would but leave us alone!