19 December 2007

Cavalcade of Bad Nativities

This is funny. A few samples:

Don we now our lame apparel
I’m not checking out your rack, I’m following the star.

Are you sure this is sparkly enough? I’m worried that it can’t be seen from space.


Questions, questions
I’ve been looking at this for days, and I still don’t know what Joseph is wearing. Or why they are pupil-less freaks wearing too much eyeliner. Or why the baby is wearing a bonnet stolen from the Holly Hobbie I had in 1976. I don’t know why Jesus’ feet are gigantic. I don’t know what happened to the rest of their noses. Advent, a time of mystery!


I can has incarnation?
Here is a fine example of the Really Depressed Animal nativity genre.

The look on cat-Mary’s face is all too familiar; it usually means that there is only sad, dry cat food in the bowl.

Also...why are the angels dogs?


Maybe we should just hibernate instead
The sad, sad people who brought you the depressed cat nativity have also aimed their bummer-beam at America’s Greatest Threat: the bear.

Same rigor mortis baby, same dog-angels. Perhaps the dogs were mauled by the bears? I don’t know. But I do know that somewhere out there is a nativity designer who really, really needs a hug.


Yes, yes
I know, it’s a lovely piece of folk art. One shouldn’t make fun of folk art. The people who made this probably never even saw Star Wars, so they have no idea that they’ve just made a Jawa nativity.

Sure, they’re adoring the child right now, but tomorrow, they’ll be out stealing droids again.

(Thanks to Lorraine)