Equally as Significant as the Boat Race

...is the Oxford & Cambridge goat race. Although the Dark Blues bested Cambridge by four whole lengths on the water, Cambridge's hoofed quadruped showed Oxford what-for by running the marathon in a record 56.9 seconds, just ahead of the other unfortunate billy, whose short recess to take a poo cost him.

But vengeance came during the Oxford & Cambridge stoat race, where the Dark Blues reigned supreme.

Upcoming: The Oxford & Cambridge moat race, in which grease-covered sows are set loose in Bodiam Castle's moat in East Sussex. The first to get to the other side wins the prize of not being turned into bacon.