Top 5 Dysfunctional Nursery Rhymes

The biggest threat to family values may be Mother Goose.

1) Jack Sprat
The story: Jack Sprat can't eat fat and his wife can't eat anything else. When they're done eating "They lick their platter clean."

What it teaches our kids:
One word: Enabling. Obviously, this couple has some serious food issues, and they're NOT helping each other deal. Not to mention, they don't seem to be big sticklers for hygiene since they use their tongues to wash dishes. (Hey Sprats, ever heard of a dishwasher?) We can guess there's not 3-second rule at their house.

2) Rub-a-Dub-Dub Three Men in a Tub

The story: Three guys hang out in a bathhouse.

What this teaches our kids:
[Obvious, as far as I'm concerned.]

3) Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater
The story: A guy can't take care of his own wife, so he imprisons her in a pumpkin shell.

What it teaches our kids:
Women need to be taken care of by men, and we're in a recession. Peter is obviously having a bad year as a professional 'Pumpkin Eater' and might have got himself into a bad mortgage. Now he has no place to "keep" his wife -- probably because she wants to leave him for a guy with a better job, like let's say, a 'Pumpkin Seller.'

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