A small request

I usually attend the Traditional Latin Mass, but on the occasions I've had to attend the Novus Ordo, why is it that I am yet to meet an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion who knows how to place the Sacred Host on the tongue? When I come up to receive with my hands folded, the EM often looks like a deer caught in headlights. And when he sufficiently recovers himself, he either stuffs the Host so far in that his fingers are all over my mouth (can you say eww?), or to the contrary he so precariously balances the Host on the tip of my tongue that I must clamp down or else Jesus will fall right out of my mouth (which, in fact, has happened twice). And to make things worse, I get bonked in the face while turning to leave because the EM reaches over to "bless" my child. Don't they know that only priests have the power to bless? True, it never hurts to make the sign of the cross on a child's forehead, whether one be layman or priest (I myself do it all the time with my two little ones)--as long as the layman understands that any blessing conferred will be purely an act of God's grace, and not from the EM's "authority" to bless. But frankly, there is no need for the EM to "bless" a child. We've gotten so confused with our roles and that of the priest that we assume we should do everything he does, whether or not it is appropriate.

I must ask, most humbly, most respectfully, most charitably, that priests teach (and remind) EM's how to properly place the Sacred Host on the tongue. If EM's are not taught, they will not know. Better yet, let's reduce the number of unnecessary EM's and bring in the priests who are available to distribute Holy Communion, and this way, the problem disappears.